Ready, Set, Relax!
12 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
Take a moment to consider if you had more room in your life. What would that mean for you? How would you like to spend your time? Who would you like to see more of? Think of the people who matter most to you: children, partner, parents, siblings, friends, relatives, neighbors or people who you have yet to meet. How might you make more room in your life for these relationships?
Marcia Marra a mother of three and resident of Ridgewood, New Jersey recognized that her family was overscheduled and exhausted from constantly running from one activity to the next. Instead of just accepting this as the norm in today’s fast-paced world, she gathered together community leaders, parents, professionals, clergy, and school representatives. The committee read and discussed national research that established the potential negative effects of over-scheduling on childhood development, family cohesion, and the health of adults.
In 2002, the entire town of Ridgewood declared a Family Night called “Ready, Set, Relax!” with no sports, no homework, no meetings, chores, or classes. Instead families enjoyed a meal together, played games or just relaxed. The idea was that having one night in which the whole town shared this experience would motivate people to find ways to slow down and reduce unnecessary pressures from families and children. This was such a positive initiative that this is now an annual event.
What is even more significant is that reports of this event spread across the country. The community effort spoke to a longing that many Americans have to foster a balance between work, school, family time, unscheduled time, and outside enrichment activities.
I really like this idea! This year, my resolution includes monthly gatherings with friends and family. The first one is this weekend. Ready, set…relax!
Are you going to have more kids?
19 Jul 2010 Leave a Comment
in Parenting
Ever since I was pregnant, people have offered me unsolicited advice. Often it is a pleasure to feel part of a larger family circle as strangers connect with our daughter and share insights with me about parenting. Many people ask if Liza is our first child and then inquire if we plan to have more children. My honest response is that given my age (40) and our current job transitions, I am uncertain whether or not to add any more children to our family.
I have been shocked by the number of people who have bluntly told me that it would be WRONG to have an only child! One woman told me that single children are “unnatural”. A man said that it would be “unfair” to my daughter not to give her siblings. Some suggested that she would be lonely and burdened by being the only child in the household. Others hinted that she would become an odd-ball!
Now, obviously I only want the best for my daughter. It took longer for me to have a successful pregnancy than I expected just as it took longer for me to find my life partner than I expected. If the timing had been different, our ideal would have been two children. However, at this point in my life I am hesitant about becoming pregnant again or adopting. This decision needs to be made relatively soon. . .
It was a relief to read in the July 19 issue of TIME (The Only Child: Debunking the Myths) that many American families find themselves in similar life circumstances and are opting to have only one child. I was pleased to have evidence for what I suspected– having no siblings does NOT mean you grow-up to be “selfish, spoiled and lonely”. That is a myth that in this age when we do not need more children to work the fields should be dispelled!
